Random Babblings of a Lunatic - Issue #4
Column by: The Loony Guy on 06/21/2003
The summer is finally beginning to heat up...and so is RCW! Independence Blast in West Union on July 3. Word from The Phoenix is that Dregen needs some time off to nurse a nagging injury so he has been stripped of his RCW Heavyweight Title! I applaud Mr. 'Nix for making a stand-up decision for the fans in spite of the bellyaching and whining of The Mini-Mind. I bet that Phoenix's answering machine sounded like a convention of babies with dirty Pampers on with messages left from Mastermind! Anyway, we will have another Champion crowned on July 3rd! One has to wonder though, Dregen is from France and the French aren't exactly known for their fighting spirit or bravery! Fighting without the French is sort of like going Deer Hunting without your Tuba, one has to wonder just how legit Dregen's injury is, or is he just ducking some big Green Monster who is waiting on him??? Can't wait for Independence Blast to see who will be wearing the gold! No prediction yet until more info is out on who is in the running for the Gold.

Just an idea here, wouldn't a Flag Match be awesome for Independence Blast? We have a couple of Mexicans who are in desperate need of a Green Card running around RCWland. Just a thought for the Co-Commissioners.

I want to make this perfectly clear...SYREN NEEDS COMPETITION!!!!! And I don't mean The Masterwhined! I mean CHICKS!!! Chicks are great and Chicks who wrestle are even better!!! And I'm not completely sure that Sin-D qualifies in that category (ouch!) but I gotta call 'em like I see 'em! I vow to whine, cry, and beg in every column for a Bra & Panties or Lingerie match until The Phoenix hears me!!! I don't claim to speak for every wrestling fan (unlike a certain annoying backyarder on the message boards) but I'm sure that I'm not alone in this! Holler if ya' hear me!!!

Speaking of the message boards, ever since Injection the 'boards have been burning! We have it all there, you really need to get registered and get on board! However be warned, it's not for the thin-skinned or easily offended! And just for the record, on the 'boards a certain clown from a rival Fed accused the Loony one of writing RCW Management endorsed and scripted columns! Nope, Nada, No Way! I call it like I see it, endorsed by no one but myself, I am the original self-proclaimed voice of the Demented Wrestling Fan!

I wonder what's next in the Extreme Division? Here's hoping to see Trik defend his title at Independence Blast and I am still lobbying for a "Falls Count Anywhere Inside or Outside" along with a "No DQ" stipulation for good measure. Mastermind has reminded me on the message board that the Champ chooses what the Extreme match will be, so Trik, the ball is in your court! Don't wimp out on us and pick a winner! (Editors Note: Actually, the challenger picks the stipulation of the Extreme Championship matches.)

Some Random Babblings:

Here at the Saint Von Raschke home for the Wrestling Insane there will be a special day to honor The Zodiac as the most inspirational wrestler of the year. He will be given an honorary Key to the Medicine Dispensary.

I wonder how does The Great Mecco see through that mask? Maybe he doesn't?

Truth, you better write a rebuttal to this column or I'm hunting you down like the dog that you are! (nyuk nyuk!)

Don't forget to get your car washed at the West Union Wal-Mart before Independence Blast! It's for a good cause!

Did I mention yet that "WE WANT CHICKS IN CHICK-TYPE MATCHES"!!!!

Are there any other local Feds around worth mentioning???? Nah, I think not!

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"

Well Cartooners, that's it for this edition of Babblings. Be watching for the soon-coming next episode. The views expressed here are mine and mine only. Any transmission or rebroadcast of this column without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited and punishable by having Meltdown hold you down and Beautiful Bobby L. give you a cold water enema. Adios Friends!