Random Babblings of a Lunatic - Issue #11
Column by: The Loony Guy on 02/24/2004
I poisoned myself but I survived the thrill of life
I altered my state of mind so I could fly
Traveled beyond my pedestrian ties, my innocence and their sweet lies
I rode in that car as far as it would take me...

Greetings again from the renown Saint Von Raschke’s Asylum, the place where chemistry and consciousness go hand in hand. We are back in the business of babbling about RCW wrestling from an insane’s fan demented point of view. Even the inmates in Isolation are buzzing about the March 13th show entitled “Resistance”. The HUGE news is that The Board of Directors is bringing in the biggest “Name” yet, and unless you’ve been living down a well with Saddaam, you already know that name is Beautiful Bobby Eaton, one-half of the legendary Midnight Express! If you’ve visited the message board lately you’ll know that the wrestlers and managers are more intrigued as to what Eaton’s agenda will be than anyone. Word on the street has it that Eaton had to change his phone number because of all of the calls he was getting from the roster (especially a couple of managers) trying to enlist his help. Personally, I can’t help but wonder how does Commissioner Chris Smith figure into this...Is Eaton coming for Smith or is Eaton coming in because of Smith? Hmmm.... One things is for sure, Bobby Eaton is a genuine legend (yeah, you heard me right Truth) and Resistance will be huge!

But there is much more to babble about in RCWland! Resistance will be hard-pressed to appoint a “Main Event” because several matches could qualify as such. Let’s begin with the Trik Nasty & Dirk Extreme Lumberjack Strap match. I’ve seen one of these years ago involving Randy Allen and Andy Runyon. These matches are brutal to say the least! The ring is surrounded by Lumberjacks, all wielding leather straps. If a wrestler is thrown from ring, it is open season and the beatings will be furious! There is some serious bad blood stemming from the infamous “Pumpkin” incident at Nightmare on Elm St. Last Fall and this match should settle the score. This will no doubt be a “Must See” match that we’ll be Babbling about for a long time.

Also being advertised is a “Madhouse” match. All I can say is, It’s about Freakin’ time!!! Madhouses are my speciality and we are pumped for this one! Dude Rock will put his Extreme Division Gold on the line in a 4-way where to win you must pin someone, grab the Title Belt, and make it out of the Ballroom alive. And for good measure, I understand this will also be “Hardcore” rules and “Falls Count Anywhere” in the Ballroom. I hope the Board announces the participants soon.

And how about the battle of the Behemoths, Max Power defending the RCW Heavyweight Championship against the even bigger Tommy Chill! I hope the ring will be reinforced, that is a lot of tonnage! Recently someone asked me if I felt if Chill deserved a Title shot and I ask you, why not? Exemplary performances deserve rewards and with Tommy’s total dominance over the high-flying Flash Fury at Full-Circle, this will test Chill’s skills against someone who can almost look him in the eye. I wouldn’t be surprised if Flash Fury never showed his face in RCW again after Full-Circle and the beating Chill put on him, but if you can’t swim with the big boys, stay in the minor leagues with the little fishboys in the pond.

Yet another worthy of Main Event status is the Runyon verses Runyon grudge match. This could turn out to be the match of the evening! The resentment apparently runs way deep between Uncle Andy and Nephew Tank. Tank is mean, vicious, and in his prime. He has the backing of Excalibur and is on top of his game. Andy is older, more experienced, and probably wiser. Plus Andy obviously has the backing of Commissioner Smith (don’t even get me started on the Tag-Team Championship at Full-Circle). The issues at stake here go deeper than win & losses, they run in blood.

We’re not done yet, how about the ever popular Rydas defending the Tag-Team belts against the always dangerous Angry Black Men! Both teams scraped and clawed to get to where they are at and a loss would mean a major set-back for either team. The ABM hates everybody and will stop at nothing to win while JD Escalade and The Juggulator are 2 of the most popular and most talented wrestlers in RCW’s history.

So, here’s 5 Main-Event matches (not to mention Bobby Eaton) that anchors Resistance to no doubt be the strongest card ever assembled for RCW. So as usual, let’s look at Loony’s famous (and usually wrong) predictions:

In the Strap Match I predict no winners, only losers. There will be enough leather outside of the ring that this could be potentially a career ending type match.

The Madhouse Match is too early to call because we only know for sure that Dude Rock is in it. I would have to give the edge to any of the smaller high-flyers due to having to escape the Ballroom, but it will be difficult to take Dude’s belt away from him after the bloody war that he won it in at Full-Circle.

I predict Tommy Chill to win the Championship match. I’m probably alone on this one but that’s just how I see it.

In the Runyon verses Runyon, I can’t see Andy beating Tank. Whether you hate or despise the man, Tank is on top of his game and Andy hasn’t competed (that I know of) in ages. The only way Andy can win this one is if Commissioner Smith appoints Andy Special referee of his own match (I couldn’t resist that one) ;)

In the Tag-Team championship I predict The ABM to win the belts unless Chris Smith is at ringside. When it comes to cheating, the ABM are in a league of their own and may be too much for Da Rydas to overcome.

As for Beautiful Bobby Eaton’s agenda... C’mon, he’s in The Midnight Express! They were lying, cheating, & stealing when we were pooping green! He’s a major league Heel and he isn’t coming to promote love and unity! Faces beware!

Time to Babble!

A big question in my mind is can Excalibur rebound after Full-Circle??? They lost the Tag-Team AND the Extreme Gold, along with their Manager being Commissioner. Bad news for Excalibur, in fact Full-Circle has to be considered a disaster for them. Is Excalibur through? Maybe...

So where does all of this leave The Freakshow? These boys are (in my opinion) the most well-balanced team. Brian Fury has the speed and endurance, Shingroth has the power and they compliment each other well. I predict that by this coming summer, the Freaks will be wearing RCW Tag-Team Gold! They just need to keep Josh Hayes from jumping in the ring or they will be looking for a new manager (how about a Loony Manager!)

Through the magic of Private Messaging via our message board, I contacted Tyson Rogers to ask him how his diet and training regiment is progressing so I could update the fans for this column. In a not so polite way he told me it was none of our business and we would have to come to Resistance and see for ourselves. You are a class act Mr. Rogers! I bet that you haven’t counted the first calorie nor hit the gym once!

Speaking of Exotica Inc. Did Evil E. And company put an end to the return of The Lords of the Dance or will the Green Card seeking Dancers be back for revenge? Is it also true that The Lords are having an autograph session at Taco Bell???

Is RCW Commissioner Chris Smith on the up and up? Is he truly steering the S.S. RCW on behalf of the fans best interests or does he intend to get revenge for past personal issues. I feel that he can be dangerous and here’s why... When The Mastermind was Commissioner, you knew exactly where he stood. He never denied being devious, sneaking, and underhanded. He would do whatever it took for his stable. The ‘Mind
would break the rules, then laugh in your face for doing so. But I haven’t yet figured out Chris, if he is genuine or self-serving? I don’t trust him yet, but I am really interested in what you think about the Commissioner, drop me an email at: randombabblings@rcwonline.com and tell me your opinion on this topic(or any other). On a similar (but opposite) note, be sure to check out the new “The Livewire” Report at http://www.offthehookwrestling.com. Just click on the Columns link. It is an interesting read and I recommend it.

Finally on a serious note I want to thank those who expressed their thoughts and support during a recent tragedy I went through. Your kindness meant a lot to me.

So with that, do not miss RCW Resistance! RCW keeps pushing the bar higher and higher and continues to smoke any other Feds anywhere near! I have a feeling that this Spring and Summer will RAWK and Resistance is kicking it off!